har har

it is extremely hilarious how i am so distant now from those who were so close to me
i think, i have come to detest everyone i even cared for

now a days, i only care about music (either listening to music or playing an instrument) and being an intense otaku
and, you know what, i am an honest fake around people
i am nice, when i just want to snap a few necks and i am mean when i just want someone to talk to to
maybe someone like me, but not exactly

i advise no one to trust me, one bit
because i secretly hate you all
and only side with my self
if i want to, i'll probably talk about you behind your back
but, not really because i am a procrastinator
if i am not going to get off my ass to do simple tasks, why would i even open my mouth to talk about you;
please consider this.

but i don't believe i would defend your name because to me it is worthless
because you are worthless

if you haven't guess yet, this is directed to a person whom i secretly detest
i do not know why i even bother with you, or with others like you
i guess it is because i am truly always bored with my life and need a easy person to talk to
someone whom is always there, i suppose

but, i cannot wait until i go away for college because maybe then and only then i will be rid of you
and maybe, i will get my poor excuse of life back on track

once again,
I AM A FAKE
and i only side with myself

okay, well and i skipped 5th-8th period and went down to the apple store to mooch off the laptops and shit and then after a while we ventured up to the second floor of the apple building where they have all the ipods and shit

so we start to fool around on the ipods, being stupid and shit and jizzing over how sexy the fucking headphones were

so yeah, then i get this idea to walk down memory lane and listen to some music that i don't listen to anymore

and lol the only band i had in mind was, my fucking chemical romance because i really liked them back in middle school (6th grade-9th grade)

so, i get on youtube on the iphone and looked up 'cancer', because back when i liked MCR, i thought this song was just one of the saddest songs i've ever heard

and i'm just there, listening to this shit
and crying on the fucking inside

:I

but, yeah, then later in the day i go to fucking Barnes & Nobles and sit down to read volume 2 of "the umbrella academy" which is named DALLAS (some shit about the assassination of president kennedy, eh)
I read this because I own the first volume (except i have it in issues)

and i see a fucking photo of gerard way and lyn z on the last page of the book, and the theme is the death of kennedy (which is gerard) with lyn z as the wife, whom witness bloody brain busting violence

and i was just like this :I because, ugh, it made me feel weird
like


WHAT IF I START TO LIKE MY CHEMICAL ROMANCE AGAIN?
THIS IS BOTHERING ME